Looking at Chris Tucker nowadays it’s hard
to imagine that the finely tailored “buddy movie” actor coined
the crude catchphrase used in combat sports message boards
worldwide. Without showing my age, the year was 1995, Ice Cube
was still “Gangsta” and the scrawny regular from Def Comedy
Jam was participating in a soon to be cult classic. The movie
“Friday” was our (“our” meaning black folks) version of a
little movie about nothing, brothas still living with mom and
kicking it in that 90’s epicenter of all things hood -
Compton. I’m sure at the time the movie was meant as a vehicle
for the rapper turned actor “Cube” but like Morris Day a
generation before Chris Tucker stole the show by comedic
force. Of all of the hilarious one liners delivered with
dizzying frequency the line that has become “Americana” and
part of fistic dialect is…..
DAAAAAAAAAYUUM, YOU GOT K.T.F.O.!!
As I stroll boxing’s dark corners of the Internet, the thing I
observe the most in fans is emotion. You are invested because
boxing is deeply human, the fighters you love are hard to bet
against (and Vegas knows this) and the fighters you hate,
well, let's just say they bring out the worst in you. What
differentiates “us” from other “games” is that the combatants
are urged to illicit emotional response from fans before the
violent confrontation. With hand to hand combat (as a sport)
we are often cast as wishers of retribution for men who repel
us. If we look deeper, most of these men remind you of someone
- or a certain “type” of guy that in real life you can’t
“legally” eradicate. Yet, boxing allows you, the fan, the
vicarious thrill of silencing a perceived jerk without
suffering the consequences.
Because of the debilitating nature of a
concussive blow to the head nothing in sports -a Home Run,
Dunk, nor a Sack- puts the exclamation point on a
confrontation like a Knockout. A knockout is definitive,
absolute and can’t be disputed; there are no two ways of
recalling a knockout. Alpha male status is usually written in
stone in one of the hardest sports to judge. Sugar Ray Leonard
(had he lost to Hagler) would still have his dignity (and
supporters) intact because of the “nature” of his defeat. But
had the “Marvelous One” put Leonard where most guys want to
put men like Ray, 50% of you would still be glowing. When
Antonio Tarver starched Roy Jones back in 2004 I had to shower
and sanitize after reading some of the venom aimed at him on
message boards. Now in a strange twisted irony Tarver, in many
ways (be careful what you wish for) annoys you worse than
Roy. Or am I at my core, just a fan of a violent game, psyche
tweaked by Tarver's demeanor; itching to see him sprawled
across the Tecate logo? Dark, probing stuff huh? - So Boxing
fans, for better or for worse, 'The 5 Fighters that You
Want to see
K.T.F.O.!!
Floyd A.K.A. “Money, Pretty Boy, Entrepreneur”
Mayweather
Why? I often look at Floyd and think to myself “how did we
get here?” when it comes to how he is viewed. A nice looking
guy who is the best at what he does would have equated to
crossover success 30 years ago. Enter Hip Hop, the morose
appeal of the self-absorbed “anti-hero” and the abandonment of
boxing by network television. Face it, we consider our little
world immune to mainstream culture, some of us are still
surprised when a boxer wants to be a rapper. Even Bob Arum
points to Floyd's “F Bombs” like a sign that the antichrist is
upon us. Allow me to list the reasons why you want to see
Mayweather K.T.F.O.
#1. The money he receives (and flaunts) for putting the
hottest division on ice for two years. No one knocks
fighting Oscar but unlike Oscar and Ray Leonard before him,
there’s not even a hint of balancing “Gettin Money” and
establishing dominance (and credibility) in your division.
Leonard Ellerbee only exasperates you more with his remedial
business evaluations of champions like Miguel Cotto.
Newsflash: No welterweight will emerge in the next two years
as a larger commodity, unless Chavez jr. decides to chop off a
leg, Einstein. Floyd, like many modern greats, used to be a
fighting champion but that nasty “Pound for Pound” moniker can
make a cat real finicky. Add the “slave wages” comment (when
boxing fans are getting killed economically) and here you have
a recipe for bloodlust.
#2. The way he discredits deserving challengers with twisted
logic and his role as poster child for the “L” virus/business
model in boxing. Years ago in the boxing business model the L
also stood for “learning” and there was little trust in flashy
records. But, if you sell tickets like Gatti, Floyd will take
the time to pontificate at length about your “L’s” while
taking the “easy work.” Talk to him long enough and he’ll
convince you nobody deserves to fight him. The welterweight
champion is only available to discuss Oscar and all
non-welterweights who don’t have an “L.” Oh yeah and you have
to be an entrepreneur too, which is code for “get out of your
contract with Top Rank, Miguel, and we’ll talk.”
#3. His sick family drama and mainstream 'buffoonery,'
(Dancing With the Stars, WWE) that you, desensitized by
reality TV can’t seem to turn away from. Call me ancient but I
didn’t want to know if Sugar Ray Leonard could “cha cha.” You
are tired of the “outside the box” mantra and you can’t wait
till someone puts him back inside of it. You don’t resent a
guy getting “his” while he can, (neither do I), but you can’t
relate to anyone engaging in the retarded trend of throwing
money. And we don’t even want to get into the family dynamic,
thank God for Jeff Mayweather. The “classy uncle” is living
proof Floyd (Mr. Rude cookout guest) wasn’t brought up by
wolves.
#4. His rampant desecration of boxing deity insults your
intelligence – hmmm? Avoiding ranked welterweights, yet better
than Robinson? The sad thing is Floyd's current discrediting
of Leonard is based on Ray still sucking the air out of any
room Floyd happens to be in. Instead of “hatin” (like he
complains constantly about) Floyd needs to ask himself “will
they love me at 50?” It’s not the 7UP commercials, Floyd; it’s
because he fought everybody and made Duran and Hearns
mainstream names in the process. Face it, you want him clipped
and if it happens you’ll sit back and light up a Cuban cigar,
(like Tony Soprano), even though you don’t smoke.
Chances of Floyd getting K.T.F.O.? I would say 5% and rising
due to several factors.
a) Fighting inferior competition and inactivity catches up to
you; at some point Floyd’s elite level internal hard rive will
be compromised by being in safety first fights. Fighters need
to feel that fear, seeking challenges is what keeps a fighter
on point. None of his recent track record prepares him for
actually cleaning out the welterweight division, no matter
how great he “was” at 130 lbs.
b) Speed kills both ways. Fighters like Floyd and Roy Jones
lose speed unlike mere mortals, the increments can’t be
measured by the untrained eye but it is there nevertheless.
Lesser fighters always catch gifted fighters as they age
because the opportunities to hit them increase. What Floyd
will lose in the next twenty-four months will leave
microseconds of space; the question is who is good enough to
fill it with a fist.
c) He’s more stationary- there were parts of Floyd's fight
with Hatton that Ricky got close. He just dropped the ball
once he got there. Smaller fighters that rely on mobility
usually don’t move as much when they get older. Floyd’s 2006
bicycle virtuoso against Carlos Baldomir was two years ago,
match that with a mid to late 2009 (or God forbid 2010) bout
with Miguel Cotto (underrated mobility and footwork) and,
Grand Rapids, you have a problem.
d)
fighters who talk about going out unscathed while still in
their prime are cosmically courting getting K.T.F.O. “I’m
going to retire from boxing, boxing won’t retire me” sounds
eerily like a late 90’s version of Roy Jones Jr. The
ones that successfully walk away and stay away never send
memos; it never was a dialogue so there’s never a real chance
for karma to occur. Boxing ain't called “the hard game” for
nothing; therefore these guys don’t have the luxury of
projecting themselves into a harmless future.
Bernard “The Executioner” Hopkins
Why? No fighter can push the buttons of his opponent like
Bernard, so I imagine it ain't hard to push yours. Bernard
-like Holyfield- is a study in the power of self-belief and
like Evander it can morph (just add microphone) into hardcore
delusion. Bernard used to be that guy that most of you could
depend on to represent the “real” cats and weed out the pretty
boys. After watching him -for what feels like the tenth time
talk Tyson and fight Ruiz- vs. Joe Calzaghe I can see how
you’ve lost your patience. Add the fact that Bernard “is” a
suit with a company that soaks up HBO dates and I can see how
the message board Mafiosi has called for him to be “hit.” Here
are the reasons that “the boys” want the old man to take a
little nap with the canvas.
1) Style, Style Style! At his peak he was a rough boxer
technician who could break you down over 12 rounds. Saturday
night you got your beer and chips and dozed off after Bernard
failed to capitalize on round one’s flash knockdown. What
followed is Bernard’s patented overhand right/head lunge/arm
bar maneuver -over and over again. The Joe Walcott back to you
stroll just waiting for something to open up replaced the
boxing master class “B-Hop” put on Trinidad. You hate it and
you wish someone would just step to the side and catch him
with an uppercut coming in and end this Ambien moment. The
worst part of his style is he is rewarded for it, rewarded for
sucking the life out of fights and giving referees 36 minutes
of cardio. Bernard reminds you of that old guy at the park who
fouled until everyone left; and then bragged about how he
“hooped”you young bucks.
2)
He never loses, ever. His indignation after every recent loss
overshadows the victory of his opponent. His style at 43 is
designed to make every fight close yet he complains when they
are. You are so tired of that look (after the cards are read)
especially from someone who claims to be so "old school." Old
school cats will keep it short and sweet (I feel like I won,
but he was the better man) but Bernard has a way of turning
post fight bitching into a new art form. He also has a legion
of message board posters who have the same sore loser
mentality. He appeals to a set seeking opportunities to feel
persecuted. Bernard never gives post fight credit, unless he
beats you and that stubborn streak is something you want to
see tested. After being out pointed by Joe Calzaghe, Bernard
turned the post fight presser into something no one dared
participate in. What would he say if he gets up after an
11 count? “I feel like I won, they (the judges) just put the
canvas under my back?”
3)
His “I’m old school” routine. Don’t get me wrong, the guy
could have competed in any era and he’s a first ballot Hall of
Famer but his 'All Time Great' name-dropping is getting on your
nerves. First of all, he makes a lot of you say Ezzard who? Is
that a band? And secondly no today fighter should be able to
approximate his skills against guys who fought 200+ times.
Add to that, the fact that Archie Moore never fought a fight in
which he was the promoter wearing a belt his business partner
owns! Well, you get the picture. Bouie Fisher is the real old
school sage and if B-Hop were so “old school” he would never
have parted with the master. Jersey Joe never went into the
ring with a “dream team” nor did he need a “fitness guru” to
fight once a year. Remember, Bernard’s treatment of promoters
and Fisher is a product of the hyper legal, “me first” time we
live in. You have relatives that are “old school” and you know
it’s not a proclamation, it’s an aura. You want Bernard K.T.F.O.
along with the first writer to call him Old School in print.
4)
Age as battle cry/excuse/marketing ploy. George Foreman
started all this mess; when Archie Moore was doing it
(1950’s-60’s) there was no sensationalistic aspect to it. Boxing's Baby Boomer Foreman planted the seed for this wave of
Generation X “squatters.” Bernard, at 43 markets himself as a
piece of granite from a bygone era – good for him, but
unfortunately for you, none of these guys fight 3 minutes a
round. When this is pointed out to Bernard after a fight… you
guessed it, “I’m 43 years old,” “when is the last time you saw
a 43 year old blah blah blah.” While youth-;obsessed, vain
forty-something’s are fueling a billion dollar industry guys like
Bernard only perpetuate the dysfunction. You don’t want
“pretty good for an old man,” you want evolution like every
other sport. In the old days, Ezzard Charles and Ray Robinson
(when old) would have to work their way up through young
bulls, for peanuts! Bernard is in sore need of a twenty-five-year old
stud to give him something that no excuse can get him out of.
Chances of Bernard getting K.T.F.O.? 0.1 %. Sorry guys, but the one
thing that is “old school” to the bone is that granite, well
tucked chin. While the last two generations have spawned the
athletic, defensively challenged show off (sorry Roy), Bernard
knew his limitations. His level of experience and defensive
technique makes it difficult for anyone to catch him; even
punches that appear flush were actually rolled on. Besides, in
the face of going to Wales or giving negotiating leverage to
nemesis’ like Jones and Tarver, I believe this “retirement” is
legit. There’s only one way I see Bernard getting K.T.F.O. and
that’s the one thing gets us all K.T.F.O. literally and
figuratively.
#a) Pride. Face it, the Calzaghe fight was close and several
respected media outlets (AP, Yahoo Sports and ESPN) had
“Philly’s finest” winning. Imagine the pride of Ali sitting
down to a nice big plate of “ego meat” like that. Hagler
walked away contented with himself and his superiority because
he felt in his heart he won. Hopkins is a different animal,
along with pride is an unquenchable desire to stick it to you
one last time. He’s a cold blooded finisher and he would
love
to walk out on top. When Bernard failed to right the “wrong”
done to him at the end of his middleweight reign he picked off
a “Hollywood” Tarver to meet his objective. I’m not one of
those people who felt Bernard was “toying” with the idea of
fighting Oleg Maskaev. He saw a “mark” and he made an attempt
to move on that mark like the predator he is. Once the dust
settles, Boxing's “Attila the Hunt” will look for something soft
(code for no leverage) at cruiserweight to add to his many
baubles. I can see him thinking he can “punk” Tomasz Adamek or
Steve Cunningham, getting worn down (bullied) and eventually K.T.F.O. for his arrogance.
Questions? Comments? Email Martin Wade
here
~~Editor's Note: Don't forget to read
Part Two, click here~~
Floyd Mayweather Jr. - Photo
Credit: D M War/DKP-
4-23-2008
