My mother hates boxing. Hates it. She hated it when I boxed competitively. She hates it when I want to watch fights when she's around. She hates the hype, the bad boy images, the violence and the, well, violence. It's been a struggle, trying to show my mom the artistry, athleticism and quality character that are involved with boxing.

So I was excited when both "Million Dollar Baby" and "The Contender" were set to air this year. I was sure when my mom saw both the movie and the television series, both of which are about boxers overcoming struggles and adversity and achieving their dreams, she would at least come around a little bit. Particularly with the reality series. I was sure she was going to start to understand the character that makes up a boxer. And "Million Dollar Baby?" She wouldn't see "Girl Fight" with me, but with two Oscar winners in the cast, I could wrangle her out of the door for "Million Dollar Baby." Here I was, excited that the media was going to give boxing an injection of popularity in the arm. A great movie! An exciting reality series! Finally, we were going to get the American public really excited about this sport again. Thank you media!

Yep. Thank you media. Thank you media for doing the exact opposite of what I was hoping you'd do.

Firstly, there was "Million Dollar Baby." There was my mom, who isn't unlike the average American, watching the first half of the movie. And she keeps leaning over and saying how much fun it looks like to spend time in a boxing gym, which is true. And she's talking about how much camaraderie there seems to be with the athletes in the boxing gym, which is true. And then in the scene (stop now if you don't want the spoiler) where the mentally retarded boy gets beaten up and Morgan Freeman jumps in to save him, she leans in to me and says how caring the trainers seem, which is true. And I'm feeling positive about my mother starting to understand what it is that draws people into this sport and this lifestyle and this strange world called a boxing gym.

And then, of course (stop now because there's a second spoiler coming), there's the scene where Hilary Swank's character gets sucker punched from behind and her neck gets broken. And I see my mother cringe in her seat. I see that all of the explanation that's gone on in the first part of the movie where she started to learn about how great boxing is, that's useless now. And I could turn to her and say, "Violence is part of the game. People get hurt sometimes." Except that that's not what happened in that scene. In that scene, violence occurs outside of the rules of the ring and not as part of a boxing match or the sport. It's just another depiction of the idea of boxers as violent animals who attack each other. And that's what my mother left that movie thinking. And it wasn't necessary. At all. She could have gotten hurt in the course of the match legitimately. But no. Instead her opponent gets unnecessarily violent and inhuman. Thank you, Clint Eastwood, for helping teach people that boxers are more like Mike Tyson (the bad version, not the gentle version who raises pigeons) than Roy Jones, Jr. Yes. Thank you, Clint Eastwood. I put money down on you to win the best actor Oscar because your odds were 38 to 1 and I think Chris Rock may have ruined it for Jamie Foxx, but that doesn't mean I appreciate what you did here.

But I still had hope! I had hope because Sylvester Stallone is one of the purest boxing fans ever and he's co-producing that new reality show, "The Contender." And this is a show where, supposedly, you're going to see training and life stories and, yes, certainly, it's a reality show so it was going to be salacious. But on the other hand, when you see the soul of a boxer, edited by Mark Burnett or not, it's hard to not understand some of what's underneath them.

But then Najai Turpin, one of the contestants on the show, committed suicide this week. It's tragic. It's also the headline on every major sports site and every single entertainment site out there. My mom even read about it. And now, no matter how positively this show presents boxers and boxing, we'll all be thinking about Najai and what he did. So thanks, Sylvester Stallone. I never really liked "Judge Dread" all that much anyway. And thanks, Mark Burnett, you made your name on Richard Hatch, and what more can we say there?

I'm going to make my own boxing movie. It's going to show the good and the bad, but it's not going to sacrifice the good so that we can all talk about the bad. I'm going to take my mom to see it, and then she'll understand. And in the meantime, I'll still be busy explaining to my friends and family that boxers are entirely different than what you see in the media. Hopefully they'll get it.

2-18-2005