OVER LIGHTLY By George Elsasser

For my money, our game of boxing is head and shoulders above the rest ... but it too has its dark side ... one that has been played over and over and a day.

So, let's cross over to the the lighter side ... and let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day.

Happens all the time: Fighter dropped by a power punch ... beats the count but shaky on his feet ... enter third man in the ring ... the one in charge of the action ... "1 - 2 - 3 ... how ya feel? ... 4 - 5 - 6 ... wanna continue? ... 7- 8 ... er ... walk to me."  And if the shaken one makes it to the ref the show continues.
GEL: Question here is are there no job qualifications other than political to nail down that ring official position? I mean, takes no more than a peek to see signs of distress ... buckled knees, glassy eyes and trouble rising after the knockdown - no need for a game of ask me no questions I'll tell you no lies.    

The Cut Man: During the mob era the cut man's stipend was 10% of the purse ... on paper the manager take was 33%, but most heisted half the purse. Back then, the 10 percent guy carried a .50 cent piece inside the ice bucket with the bottled water- the today enswell tool has replaced the half-buck piece.
GEL: The cut man would quickly search for damage when his guy returned to the corner ...  if needed, the coin was quickly pressed against the swollen area ... today it's a cluttered corner in a game of "who's on first" ... the enswell is finally located ... cut man places the icy metal to the injured spot ... next thing he's working it like he's polishing boots ... can almost hear background music to "Chattanooga Shoe Shine Boy" - maybe the coin to enswell evolution should not have included a handle.

Observation: Notice as each stanza nears its end, and the ten-second mark is sounded by banging on the canvas, we see the third man moving closer to the action while assuming a stressed pose ... then the bell ... next is seeing him sandwiched between the fighters ... and more resembling a pervert on a packed subway car than a man in charge of the action.
GEL:  As that old 4 Aces hit once went, "Tell Me Why" ... I mean what's the big hurry here ... pre-fite instructions clearly advise protecting oneselves at all times ... so just where is the felony if during a closing exchange the bell sounds and one or the other get off a late hit ... there is none!

Observation: Not very often a pairing of southpaws runs silky smooth ... and when it's prelim fighters it can be downright ugly ... the styles rarely mesh ... ditto novices in left/right pairings ... so what to expect with our third man theme at the helm?
GEL: Well, whether it is the above scenario, or other unorthodox pairings as in rookies tall vs short, or tall and gangly vs tall and gangly, what we frequently see is a man in charge in need of Valium or maybe an overdose of muscle relaxers. The first inevitable entanglement ... regardless of cause ... here he is with the shoutin', threatenin' lunacy. One would think by now a message would register ... simply call a halt and physically break them ... is called paying the dues.

Observation: It's one of them busy, action prelim bouts ... similar in style and skill ... and nearing midway mark a punch lands slightly below the DMZ ... and here's our man in charge, quickly on the scene with the usual flair for the dramatics.
GEL: I don't get it ... some of the today referees appear obsessed with anything borderline ... then manage to miss something much more sinister ... and the most glaring flub of all is when a clean body punch sees the "victim" claiming low blow and turns to the ref for help ... and gets it!

Closing comments: What better finis to this scribble than turning to Messrs Kenny, Tessitore and similar ilk doing today commentating.
GEL: It is said a picture is worth a thousand words ... amen ... enter ESPN2 FNF studio fraud Kenny ... the con is in tossing chatter at us faster than a gatlin' or burp gun ... is like he's auditioning for an auctioneer gig. Truth is Brian baby wants it that way - but then he blows his cover with that ludicrous studio clinic with guest fighter ... seeing Kenny in a fight pose is the best ever credibility buster I have ever seen. But then so too with Papa and/or Tessitore in identical 'dummy" scenario with Teddy Atlas doing the tutoring.

PS  Keep the faith ... the game is a survivor ... and for sure the day will be saved by the inevitable new faces arriving on the scene to make it worth our while to stay tuned.

GEL       

5-29-2004