The last night (Aug. 18) ESPN FNF off-Broadway drive by out at the la la land of Temecula, California more than simply bombed - it was a pugilistic tour de flop with all the trimmings.

But for pinch hitting studio host Robert Flores, in for the on assignment Brian "No Clue" Kenny, the entire cast from fighters to commentators and guests, collectively earned bottom of the barrel reviews for botched up job of the year.

The foolishness opened with Flores subjected to studio guest of the evening and fite historian, author Bert Sugar, who quickly went the self promo route as he tossed out extracted quotes of Jim Jeffries, Al "Kid" McCoy, Joe Louis that spawned gems such as "The real McCoy- the bigger they are the harder they fall - you can run but you can’t hide" and others.

I see Sugar far more vaudevillian than Barrymore, more copycat than "real McCoy" - and a never changing on screen resemblance in persona, to the old Dick Tracy comic character Vitamin Flintheart.

On that note, let’s go to the ring action: enough last minute changes to guarantee the stew would be severely weakened - original feature had Enrique Ornelas and Sam Soliman - then it was short notice veteran Raul Munoz stepping up to the proverbial plate for a paycheck.

No surprise it closes at 2:31 of opening stanza with Ornelas standing and Munoz down twice and crawling, courtesy of body punches.

Prior to the heavyweight co-feature we get couple four rounders that go the distance. Opens with undefeated Joaquin Marquez of two pro fights fame by knockout - opponent Roderick Grajeda of 6-4-3, 1 KO infamy - takes fight on 2 day notice. Is all Marquez at opening bell flailing away with bad intentions but the punchless pigeon Grajeda shows true grit and recovers to snatch stanza two with harmless, but rapid-fire flurries - goes to majority draw decision.

Then another 4-rounder with undefeated young Hector Alatorre at 12-0, 5 KO’s facing carefully selected age 30 Carlos Cisneros at 7-13-1 with 4 by knockout - surprise, it too goes to the judges with Alatorre winning by split decision. Takes no longer than 30 seconds to see zero future for either. Strongest recollection of this one was my searching the rafters to find the guy working the respective marionettes that had no clue as to style or technique.

Then the big guys in the co-feature: Damian Wills scores unanimous 8-round decision over Cisse Salif in a yawn provoker - Wills supported by Hollywood actor Denzel Washington, thus seen as prospect after 20 wins, a draw with 15 knockouts - clearly failed to show that kind of fire power last night. The connected hype will fail this guy once stepping up to serious opponents.

Closing comments:
                                Ornelas (25-2, 15 KO’s) ~ age 25 still needs technique improvements before stepping up class. Showed energy, but bout only went 2:31 seconds of batting practice. Jury not as yet sequestered.
                            Munoz (18-10-1, 14 KO’s) ~ age 30 - had once returned from six bout losing streak with win over Ed Humes of 5-34-1 infamy - other recent debits, stopped by Sam Soliman in March of this year and Hector Camacho Sr. in 2005 think there’s a message there.
                            Joaquin Marquez ( 2-0-1, 2KO‘s) ~ age 23 the biggest plus - strictly wild winging with no hint of having graduated boxing grade school - young enough and physically strong. Not sure of how durable a ticker - slowed the opening candle banzai once Grajeda refused to leave the room.
                            Roderick Grajeda ( 6-4-4, 1 KO) ~ age 24 and victim of short notice, worse is being cheated at birth in punching power. Biggest claim to fame is toughness - problem has little to back it with. Unless a mystery man can help with skills development the kid ain’t long for this planet.
                           Hector Alatorre ( 13-0, 5KO’s) ~ age 24 mucho energy but burns it up with non-stop herky-jerky animations - little, if any positives once he travels the rocky roads ahead.
                          Carlos Cisneros (7-14-1, 4 KO’s) ~ age 30 and the rap sheet says it all.
                          Damian Willis (21-0 - 1, 15 KO’s) ~ age 26 - young enough but it’s a gimme the hype will quickly cool before any "contender" recognition.
                          Cisse Salif ( 18-7-2, 17 KO’s) ~ age 35 and it shows. Slow is being polite and not the big banger the 17 scalps would suggest.
  
Rest of the story:  Referees: Jack Reiss ~ opening bout and there he is - good ol’ Jack-ass himself. When last seen back in July this fraud plays the part of a fool by jumping between a fighter that dropped the other- in his haste after shouting no-mas he collides with the winner who becomes more injured than the KO victim. Last nite he limited the involvement to lip service, as in "Calm down, ok?" when after ring instructions the touching of gloves was done with too much enthusiasm. From time to time we’d hear the Jack-ass uttering "thank you’s" for obeying the commands. Ugh.
                                                  Raul Caiz Jr. ~ good stoppage - easy assignment with Ornelas getting it done in opening stanza. Still, Raul not one I want working my fight.
                                                  David Mendoza ~ have seen this guy’s act before - definitely works on the choreography at home - resembles a guy with a constipation problem. Does the point deduction to Salif for a holding hitting infraction that wasn’t all that flagrant - but Dave’s strange pivots for the camera are a bit much.
                                
                    Commentators: Joe Tessitore ~ once again the high pitched "prospect" shout is heard - sort of a Paul Revere "one if by land, two if by sea" thing. First benefactor of the night Joaquin Marquez - I mean, undefeated after two fights and he's a prospect? Then the guy earns a majority draw with a hitless wonder but game Grajeda. Next it’s Alatorre the prospect -  goes to a split decision win over hapless 7-14-1, 4 KO’s Carlos Cisneros. Biggest credibility damager arrives with Joey's blessing Jackass Reiss with good referee status for trying to make the affair a good fight. What Tessitore misses is the styles made for ugliness.
                                               Teddy Atlas ~ once acceptable - the trainer credentials helped his getting the job - could be only me but think Teddy has gone much too political. Could a recurring dream see himself one day as NYS Boxing Commissioner?                              

P.S. Denzel Washington sitting ringside between Joe and Teddy and sharing his take on the action - today a movie star - what next , a golfer, tennis or team game star.?

GEL -