THE ART OF TRASH TALK By Stephen Jones

Throughout the last fifteen years in boxing, one of the largest parts of putting a decent fighter's profile or a tremendous fight card together is promotion. We have a whole different array of Promoters or Promotional agencies around today; some well known, some newly formed but all are experts in what we all know basically as putting bums on seats... and selling arenas out. After all boxing is opera with blood, showbizz with actual pain entwined in it, and if a fighter is not naturally charismatic or isn't the most desirable to view on the big screen, like some fights are not all that mouth watering on paper, we need that final hidden ingredient... Hype... the art of trash talk...PR.

Good PR is invaluable to make the boxing public become blinded, often to the point of actually thinking, a has-been can actually roll back the years and challenge a proven established champion or contender.

A good example is Tyson v McNeely... The fight was junk, a mishap, a non event... but after listening to Mr. King and his P.T. Barnum-like spiel for long enough, one may even begin to think that the sorry but brave sacrificial overpaid chunk of live meat (McNeeley) could pull mission impossible off. The fight stunk but the MGM was successful in putting one of the richest shows in history together thanks to some great Lip Service.. or PR.

A few choice words, a few funny "I'll muyder dat bum" style comments, or a few bold one liners can turn an ordinary show into an amusing event, or in Tyson's case, a curiosity. Some carefully selected words can mold a boxer's personality into a great box office attraction, or public enemy #1.

I have documented some of my favorite quotes from press conferences, interviews or just plain everyday occurrences in the public eye; after all there is no such thing as bad publicity. I hope these quotes are enough to brighten up your day.

The important thing to remember is ... don't by any means take anything from this collection seriously, it's all good fun.

~~~~~~~~~

QUOTE #1 is by former WBA Heavyweight champion John Tate:
"This comeback is my burning desire, I want that little midget Tyson, no-body who fights him takes the aggressive attitude that he does, I'd go in there with exactly the same attitude that he does, Hell yeah!" ... John speaking less than 24 hours before getting a good thrashing from little known British heavyweight Noel Quarless.

QUOTE #2 is from WBA heavyweight champion James 'Bone Crusher' Smith, on his upcoming fight with dangerous WBC champion Mike Tyson:
"I am gonna fight nasty; it's gonna be a great fight, a bang- bang good one and someone is gonna go to sleep." ... James was exactly right; he was nasty and someone did go to sleep, almost everyone who tuned in was put to sleep.

QUOTE #3 is from Larry Holmes telling it just how it is, following a bitter split with his long time trainer Ritchie Giachetti:
"Damn, I paid that man $1.5 million which really is good money for someone who, pours water, puts in my mouthpiece and shouts TIME." ... Good to see Ritchie was appreciated.

QUOTE #4, a 19 year old Michael Tyson talking about the struggles of being a clean living professional boxer:
"It's while I am in training that I actually start to hate fellers my own age. They are runnin round havin fun while I am living like a monk." ... Now when was the last time you put Tyson and the word monk in the same breath?

QUOTE #5. A bleeding Marvin Hagler a few minutes before KO'ing Thomas Hearns, replying to referee Richard Steele when asked if he could still see Thomas Hearns?
"I'm not missing him am I?"

QUOTE #6. Randy Smith, a middleweight contender taunting opponent Mike Olajide.
Smith: "You have knockouts, you musta fought bums."
Olajide's reply after beating the devil out of Smith..."Bums, yeah I just beat one tonight."

Quote #7. An exchange between cornermen at an Irish championship event...
"Throw in the towel dammitt...
"There ain't no towel...
" Then throw in the sponge...
"...But there ain't no sponge either...
"Then throw in the F---king bucket!"

Quote #8. Tony Tubbs talking about his preparations for his date with Mike Tyson, on the day he weighed in at a whopping 250 lbs. + of jello like lard.
"I've been eating, sleeping and drinking Mike Tyson." ... Yes, Mr Tubbs, you certainly have!!

Quote #9. Tony Tubbs answer to the question, which of Mike Tyson's punches did the most damage, following his two round KO defeat.
"Which one? The one with the baseball bat."

Quote #10. Frank 'The Animal' Fletcher, when asked if he knew where he was after Juan Domingo Roldan knocked him out. (Caesars Palace)
"Yeah man, I am in the Sands Hotel."

Quote #11. Light heavyweight Chris Finnegan describing Bob Foster's jab, in a post fight interview.
"Imagine being hit by a scaffolding pole with a boxing glove on the end of it."

Quote #12. Donald King talking about Bob Arum and money...
"Me and Arum are reasonable men when it comes to money, we take our separate bags of money to separate banks and then it's, You're a son of a bitch, and You're a son of a bitch, damn man, we are both two rich sons of bitches."

Quote #13. Heavyweight Randall Tex Cobb, discussing his durability and his record.
"I was only knocked out once, by a Mexican bantamweight, you wanna know how come? Six of my pals were swinging him 'round by his heels at the time.."

I hope you enjoyed these quick quotes, I will try to find more in the coming weeks, as I have been reviewing some old tapes and boxing journals. Isn't it strange how a quote can be so innocently perfect when read after the fact?

One last parting comment from Tex Cobb, on the subject of why he doesn't wanna retire... "I'll do anything to keep from working for a living, if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!!"

08-13-03